He Loved My Best Friend, So I Walked Away

On Juliana's birthday, Elwin was out the door first thing in the morning, going all the way across town to order her favorite cake.

The dinner that night was set at an upscale tasting-menu place with a nice atmosphere, and Juliana wore a dress in the same color family as the new bag she'd been given the other day.

All evening, her eyes kept drifting to Elwin without her meaning to, and the moment she caught me looking, she'd jerk her gaze away.

When she raised her glass, her eyes were a little red.

"I'm really so happy I got to meet you two."

The words barely out, she shot a quick glance at Elwin, then tipped her head back and drained the whole glass.

Elwin reached over and pressed a hand to her wrist.

"Slow down."

She laughed and opened her eyes, filling her glass again, her voice a little rough.

"It's my birthday. I want to drink."

I sat beside them, unable to get a single word in the whole time, like a spare outsider.

At first Elwin tried to stop her, told her not to drink so fast, and then he just filled his own glass too.

She drank one, he matched it, the two of them across half a table, neither looking at the other, yet somehow perfectly in step.

A few rounds in, they were both drunk out of their heads.

That was when Juliana suddenly lifted her face, propped her chin on her hand, and looked at me, her words slurred.

"Luna... I've fallen for a guy. I really like him. I like him so much."

I pulled out a bitter little smile and said lightly,

"If you like him, then go after him. What if he likes you back?"

Her eyes lit up, and she stared at me, wanting to be sure.

"Really?"

"Really."

The word had barely landed before she raised her eyes and looked straight across at Elwin.

His face froze on the spot, half the drunkenness gone in an instant, and he scrambled to cut in.

"You're drunk. Don't talk nonsense. I'll call a car to take you home."

He stood as he said it, threw an arm around my shoulders, and pulled me out in a hurry.

The drive back was dead silent. Neither of us said a word.

Then Elwin rolled the window down and lit a cigarette, turning his head to look out, his expression dark and unreadable, who knew what he was thinking.

The sharp smell hit me at once, and I caught my breath without thinking.

My airways are sensitive. I can't stand the smell of smoke.

Elwin knew that. In four years together he'd never touched a cigarette or a drink in front of me. Even when friends or classmates pushed one on him, he'd just hold my hand and turn them down softly.

"My girlfriend can't stand cigarette smoke."

But now he let the smoke curl through the cramped car, and though he could see me frowning, holding it in, he didn't react at all.

The second we got home his phone rang, the custom ringtone he'd set just for Juliana.

I didn't deal with him. I just went straight into the bedroom.

About half an hour passed before he pushed the door open and came in, saying it had been the head of operations over in Crestwood calling.

His lie was full of holes, clumsy to the point of being funny, but I couldn't be bothered to call it out. I just rolled over and put my back to him.

Late into the night, his phone buzzed again and again, and as if something moved my hand for me, I picked it up off the pillow beside him.

I opened the chat, and the words on the screen made my eyes ache.

The most recent messages were from tonight.

Elwin had written,

"Juliana, we can't keep going like this. It isn't fair to Luna."

She'd said,

"I know. But I really can't help it."

He'd said,

"I can't hurt Luna. I can't agree to go to Crestwood with you anymore. I want to go to New York with her."

Juliana had sent back a sprawling message, thousands of words, the gist of it being that the three of us had agreed, and none of us could be left out.