Grief and Madness: After His Daughter Died

"Be good, let's not talk about that," Grayson said, taking me home. He apologized, "Mila has been threatening me with this, that's why I..."

He said there was nothing between him and Mila.

That child wasn't his either. Back in school, he just wanted to see if I, the blockhead, would get jealous.

"..."

Just to see if I'd get jealous, he deliberately kept close with Mila, letting the rumors spread.

They believed Grayson and Mila were a perfect match and treated me as the third party. Some even blocked me on the rooftop after school to stand up for Mila.

They were many and physically assaulted me, even stripping me to humiliate me.

Even though I fought back later, because of Grayson's attitude, my high school years were still marked with disgrace.

"You could have told me, Grayson."

My body trembled uncontrollably, those memories were unbearable. Grayson reached out to hug me, gently stroking my back.

"I was afraid you'd despise me if you knew about Uncle Smith. Just like back then, you turned away and ignored me."

Grayson was referring to the time when rumors were rampant, and I avoided being with him.

"I've been used to you following me since we were kids. I always knew I'd marry you when I grew up. My mom..." Grayson paused, opening his mouth but not continuing.

I was very tired. I leaned on the sofa and did nothing. I fell asleep.

In my dream, I was back to my childhood. Grayson and I were neighbors, and we were close. I often sat by my window, secretly talking to Grayson through his.

He would gently tell me bedtime stories, coax me to sleep early, and buy me many little gifts.

Violet, Violet...

I was awakened by the sound of Grayson's low breathing in my ear.

I saw Grayson busy in the kitchen. He was a good cook and quickly prepared a sumptuous meal, but the smell made me want to vomit.

I missed Emily. If she were here, she would have hugged me. Emily had always been very sensible, and everyone said she was emotionally intelligent for her age.

But behind her sensibility was a father who didn't love her. She carefully tried to win Grayson's affection.

"You don't need to go to all this trouble. I won't eat, and there's no need to be kind to me. Even if there's nothing between you and Mila, it's impossible for us."

"I know I haven't treated you well, nor Emily. Give me a chance to make it right, please?"

Grayson said he just didn't know how to express his feelings. It was his first time being a father, and when he saw Emily, so small, he wanted to hold her.

He wanted to comfort Emily, but every time he reached out, his body would stiffen.

"I couldn't face Emily, and I couldn't face you."

"Ridiculous." I laughed in anger. It was clearly their fault, yet my Emily had to bear it all.

What did Emily do to deserve being born into my womb, to endure Grayson's cold violence? From the moment she was born, I knew she had congenital heart disease.

I watched over her carefully, afraid this time bomb would explode. My carefully nurtured little flower still wilted in the end.

"Grayson, you don't understand my pain, and you don't deserve Emily's goodness."

"The unopened gifts are all in Emily's little room. Grayson, if you still have a heart, accept her kindness."

I didn't really want to give them to Grayson, but I wanted him to feel guilty. How could someone like him deserve an angel like Emily?

Grayson's body stiffened. He gently coaxed me, "Eat something first. You can't keep not eating or drinking."

"I don't need you to worry about me. I won't seek death. Emily said I need to be strong. I will live on in her place."

Grayson sighed deeply and went to that room.