GAMMA ADONAI

Balqis’s POV

One month has passed since that terrible night at Adonai’s place. I’d thrown myself into work at the club, dancing until my body gave out, trying to forget Julius, and trying to forget the touch of Adonai’s hand against my skin. But my body had another plans.

“Bally, are you vomiting again?” Nirvana asked from the living room.

I flushed the stench and came out of the bathroom exhaustedly. “I really don’t know what I ate. Perhaps I danced too much last night. Can I borrow a few cents to get some drugs?”

“Go check my purse, you’ll see some change in there.”

“You’re not getting any drugs!” Mrs Kathy, my stepmom, interrupted, coming into the living room.

We both looked back. “Why did you say that mum? She’s been vomiting for the past two days now.” Nirvana said, frowning in confusion.

“Are you both idiots?” Mrs Kathy fired angrily, and both Nirvana and I frowned in confusion. “Balqis is pregnant!!” Mrs Kathy announced before grabbing the remote control.

Of course. She’d notice. She’d been watching me like a hawk ever since Julius and I broke up, probably hoping I’d do something to embarrass the family before Nirvana's wedding.

My heart slammed immediately, currents of shock ran through my veins, “What did you say mum?”

“When did you last seen your period?” She asked, casting me a mocking glance.

“But I...” I stopped immediately. I remembered that I hadn’t seen my period this month.

But how did I… The realization hit me like ice water.

Nirvana’s eyes met mine, and I saw understanding dawn on her face because she was there too. “Adonai” I whispered, my voice shaking.

“You actually… with him?” Nirvana’s eyes widened.

I...I’m pregnant with Gamma Adonai’s child?

No. It can’t be. “See Mum, we can’t just jump to conclusions like that. You know...”

“Don’t give me that crap, I’ve been through this before” she yelled, finally setting my heart in flames.

I looked at Nirvana, who shook her head desperately, telling me not to involve her no matter what.

Nirvana was betrothed to the Alpha’s son, and their marriage was set for next month.

As expected of a bride-to-be, she should be on her best behavior, as any slight mistake could send her and her family’s head rolling on the floor.

When had I last seen Gamma Adonai? I’d made sure to avoid him completely since that night. When he came to our house with the Alpha’s son entourage to visit Nirvana, I’d hidden like a coward. When I spotted his car near the club, I’d take a different route home. I couldn’t face him after what we’d done.

But now, I was pregnant with his child?

No, it can’t be. Mrs Kathy went upstairs, and while she was gone, Nirvana rushed over to me. “Balqis, Gamma Adonai… came into you?”

I pushed her back, “All this happened because of you! If you hadn’t slept with Julius, I wouldn't have been compelled to do it.”

Mrs Kathy came back downstairs with a pregnancy test strip and handed it to me, “Go test yourself.”

~~~

“Mum, this is not necessary,” Nirvana pressed. “Balqis can actually take care of herself even if she’s really…”

“Take care of herself by abortion?” The woman fired at her daughter again. Nirvana kept quiet, and I felt I needed this confirmation, or else I’m going to lose my mind.

Mrs Kathy and Nirvana paced up and down, sighing simultaneously, while I sat on the sofa like a lost soul.

I stared at the little device lying on the table, the message flashing on it haunting my brain the more I looked at it: “PREGNANT”

After pacing for what seemed like ages, Nirvana stopped and stamped her feet to the floor. “Balqis, you’re aborting this pregnancy,” she concluded.

I didn’t move from my spot. I just listened with several possibilities running through my mind.

Can I take care of a child alone? Probably not, right? I don’t even have a stable job, just bouncing from one part-time gig to another while Mrs Kathy pays me just a dime to take care of my personal necessities. But… I’m now pregnant?

Julius would definitely mock me if he found out. The pack would call me a whore who got kicked out by her ex-mate’s best friend and Mrs Kathy would never forgive me for ruining her reputation.

“Stop talking about abortion as if it’s nothing!” Mrs Kathy fired back at her daughter. “She was impregnated by Gamma Adonai, right? Then let’s go and tell him”

“Mum!” Nirvana warned. “How sure are you that he would want a child?”

Mrs Kathy stopped in her tracks, and her piercing, wicked eyes locked into mine. “Then she shouldn’t have opened her legs for him!”

I could see the wheels turning on her head. A baby woth Gamma Adonai meant money, connections to power. Of course she’d want me to keep it for her own sake.

Cold shivers ran down my spine as she said this. Only if I hadn’t gone to his house that day to find Julius, then I wouldn’t be facing this now.

But now, I have two options laid before me. Either get an abortion or inform him about it.

“No!” I interrupted the mother and daughter’s arguments, making them look at me in confusion.

I stood up, each word I was about to say choking my throat like tiny little needles. “I will go and tell Gamma Adonai about this myself.”

I turned to the stairs. “Mum is right. I laid my pussy for him, and he should take responsibility for this.”

“Balqis,” Nirvana called, and I turned. For the first time, I caught a concerned gaze on her face, though I couldn’t tell if it was concern for me or fear of scandal. I couldn’t tell. “Can you handle it alone? Should I come with you?”

I forced a smile, “You don’t have to.” She’s the reason I’m in this mess anyway. No amount of her niceness would make me ever forgive her.

I departed upstairs with tears running down my face. Why did this have to happen on my first time sleeping with another man?

How could I not even know when he was emptying his scrotum into my womb?

I changed my dress with tears and trembling hands, tears streaming down my face. What would I even say to him? Would he want this baby, or reject me like Julius had?

I came down the stairs, my heart still hammering with anxiety over Adonai’s possible reactions, but Nirvana stopped me halfway through. “Go back upstairs, Balqis.”

I tried pushing my way through her, “Nirv, let me go.”

She held me back, her voice breaking as she spoke. “For your own sake, go back upstairs.”

Her mum was standing before the TV, frozen, and this hinted to me that something was happening.

“No, Nirv,” I argued and forced my way out of her grip and rushed to the TV, only to see the most gruesome news flashing.

“No,” I shook my head, withdrawing. “This can’t be true”

Nirvana rushed to me and held me. “Take heart, Balqis. The goddess knows the best.”

“No!!!” I cried painfully, wishing the news was false. “Nothing must happen to Adonai at this time.”

I yelled at the top of my voice. My chest ached from crying too much, my heart bleeding with anguish.

Not now. Not when I’m carrying his child. Not when I never got to tell him .

My hands moved instinctively to my still flat stomach. “I’m sorry” I whispered to the tiny life inside me. “I’m sorry your father will never know you existed”

Showing on the TV were photos taken from an accident scene, and not an ordinary accident scene, but a plane crash. Involving none other than Gamma Adonai — the father of the baby I was carrying!

“…..unfortunately, no survivors were found at the crash site...”