From Now On, My Years Have Nothing to Do with You

2: 2

The next day, I went into the office and handed in my resignation.

A headhunter had tried to poach me for a bigger firm before this.

To have more time to take care of Nicholas, I'd had no choice but to turn it down.

The HR manager and I got along well, and she was genuinely happy for me.

"Carrie, you've finally come to your senses. With your talent, you're going to do great things."

I smiled.

"Dinner's on me when the time comes."

After finishing the handover, I went home.

The delivery guy had already left the packing boxes I'd ordered online at the door.

Next came packing up Nicholas's things.

This apartment was bought in my name.

And all these years, I'd been the one paying the mortgage.

Since we were breaking up.

There was no reason for him to keep living with me.

The place was a little out of the way, far from where I worked.

But close to several grad-school prep centers.

The year Nicholas failed the first time, I bought this apartment.

And spent money enrolling him in several prep courses.

After failing, Nicholas fell into a slump.

Until I brought him here.

"Nick, I believe in you. Just one more year of hard work and you'll make your grad-school dream come true!"

He was moved to tears.

"Carrie, I promise I'll give you a wonderful future!"

I laughed and burrowed into his arms.

"Silly. You are my future."

The second year, Nicholas failed again.

This time his eyes were unusually determined.

"Carrie, trust me. Give me one more chance. Next year I'll get in for sure!"

"The minute I get in, we'll get married!"

The third year.

The fourth year.

It was the same lines every time.

I waited, one year after another.

From twenty-two to twenty-seven.

The people around me got married, had kids.

Only I was still there, helping Nicholas chase his grad-school dream.

Working to make money while taking care of Nicholas as he studied.

It was hard to get through.

Countless times I told myself.

Wait a little longer.

The day Nicholas got in, we'd get married and build a happy home.

But yesterday, when I brought up marriage.

Nicholas's eyes just slid away……

I spent the whole afternoon cleaning, and only then was the bedroom done.

They say no matter how many closets you give a woman, she'll fill them all.

But Nicholas alone had used more than half the closet.

The few pieces of clothing that were mine hung in the corner, looking pitifully small.

Nicholas had a severe case of OCD.

Hiking required hiking gear.

Interviews required a suit.

At home he had to wear casual clothes.

Because of the mortgage, and because he had no income.

Our life was tight.

To meet his needs, I could only cut it from my own living expenses.

Wearing ten-dollar T-shirts, even using the leftover makeup my best friend passed on to me.

Once the room was done, I moved on to the study.

This was Nicholas's private space.

Apart from bringing in his meals and cleaning, I was strictly forbidden to enter.

Cornelia, though, was the exception.

The wall across from the desk was covered in instant photos.

Every one of them was of her and Nicholas together.

Cornelia had arranged them there on purpose.

Last year, Nicholas earned a bit of money submitting a piece to a newspaper.

Without a second thought, he bought Cornelia painting supplies and the instant camera she'd been dreaming of.

As for me, he gave me a warm hug.

"Cora has no family. I'm the only one who can be good to her."

"Once I get into grad school and win the scholarship, I promise I'll buy you something better!"

For five years, he'd always soothed me with empty promises.

While giving all his favoritism and love to another woman.

As the sky was almost dark.

Nicholas suddenly sent me a photo of a collectible toy.

【I remember you really liked this. My mom gave me some money, I can buy one for you.】

In the reflection, Cornelia was hugging three blind boxes, smiling brightly.

I replied coldly.

【No need.】

【Or I could bring you along next time to pick one out?】

【I said, no need.】

Empty promises.

I wasn't going to believe them anymore.

The screen kept showing that he was typing.

In the end, he didn't reply again.

I peeled the photos off the wall and threw them into the trash can beside me.

Exhausted in body and spirit, I lay down on the couch just like that and fell asleep.

Until I was woken by a wave of cramping pain low in my belly.

The room was pitch black.

I really didn't have the strength to get up, so I fumbled for my phone and called Nicholas.

In that moment, weak as I was, I forgave everything.

A long, long time passed before Nicholas picked up.

But the voice on the other end was Cornelia's, clear and bright.

"Carrie, Nick's in the shower, he can't come to the phone right now……"