For Myself, I Left My Wife and Her First Love

I took a cold shower in a daze, then lay on the bed staring at the ceiling.

The silence in the room was shattered by my phone's distinct ringtone.

I checked my phone, and there were messages from Claire.

[Yosef, go like my Instagram post.]

[I'll be home tomorrow. I have something important to discuss. You need to be home by 4 PM.]

I didn't reply. Instead, I checked Claire's Instagram and stared long at her latest photo.

It was a night shot from a hotel's presidential suite overlooking the city, captioned: [The Seaville nightscape is as enchanting as ever.]

Our mutual friends, mostly college mates, had commented.

[Wow, staying in that presidential suite must be at least 20,000 dollars a night.]

[Claire, you two are still so lovey-dovey after eight years. Are you guys on another honeymoon? Us singles are so jealous.]

[Claire, lucky you, married to such a great guy.]

There were loads more comments like these. I couldn't help but sneer.

I thought, "Did she just post this after sleeping with Frederick?"

Frederick had also posted on Instagram. His photo featured a woman's bare shoulders and a man's chest, with the caption: [Only she can make me feel this relaxed and happy.]

Their posts were only a minute apart.

There were no comments under Frederick's post, not even a like from Claire.

I knew it was Frederick's way of taunting me, making his post visible only to me.

Claire never missed a thing on Frederick's Instagram. She was always quick to like and comment on his updates.

I left a comment, liked it, and saved a screenshot.

"Claire, you want a divorce? I'll give you that. But you can forget about any settlement, since you cheated," I thought to myself.

In my dream, I was back in college.

Coming from a family of traditional farmers in a remote area, attending college made me the hope of my whole family.

At Worania University, it was a whole other world, full of rich kids and legacy students. I felt inferior and out of place, barely recognizing the luxury brands and fancy cars they talked about, all way out of my league.

I figured if I hit the books hard enough, I could eventually be like them and even bring my parents to live in the city.

I harbored a secret crush on Claire, the most sought-after girl on campus, who was also in my department. She was the only one who didn't mock me. Her looks were soft and kind, and man, did I fall hard.

Dreams, however, can shatter. And mine did.

Someone had plastered my private notes about my crush on Claire all over the campus bulletin board. By the time I saw it, everyone was sneering and laughing as they passed me.

I ran away in humiliation.

In the men's bathroom, I got a beating that left me bruised and battered. I couldn't fight back as my arms were held by two guys.

"Is this the guy?" someone asked.

The guy holding my left arm jeered, "Yeah, Frederick, this loser. This ugly motherfucker thinks he can date the hottest girl on campus. Look at him!" And then he socked me in the gut.

As I spit out blood, I managed, "Frederick?"

The guy on my right cackled, "Frederick, he's been pining over Claire for a whole semester. I ripped his diary out and stuck it on the board. As if he could ever get with her. How pathetic."

Frederick, taking a drag from his cigarette, just stared down at me and said coldly, "Right, pathetic. You guys deal with him." Then he walked off.

Through the kicks and punches, I figured out that this 'Frederick' was the notorious rich kid from Worania University.

The bullying didn't stop until Frederick left for abroad. It shadowed me throughout my college years.

I woke up yelling, sitting up in a sweat-soaked bed.

It was the same nightmare I hadn't had in five years.

I turned to look out the window at the dawn lightening the sky. It was morning already.

Bella must have heard me scream. She knocked on my bedroom door, calling out, "Dad, Dad, are you okay?"

Her voice snapped me back to reality.

"I'm okay, sweetheart. I just had a bad dream," I reassured her.

"Come on, Dad, you big sleepyhead. The sun's high in the sky. Come have breakfast with me," Bella said in her sweet, childish voice.

I got up, straightened myself out, and said, "Alright, I'm coming."

Watching Bella eat, with crumbs around her mouth, I couldn't help but smile.

But the thought that she was Frederick and Claire's child wiped that smile away.

Then my phone buzzed with a text from Claire: [I'm at the airport. Come pick me up.] She even added an angry emoji.

That was classic Claire. It was like she had every right to boss me around.

She never cared how I felt. As a human being, I needed love. Even a simple "Thanks, babe" would have made me feel loved, but she never bothered.

I texted Claire back: [Can't today, swamped. Got a thing tonight. Let's talk tomorrow.]

"Is Mom coming back?" Bella asked excitedly.

A twinge of sadness hit me as I looked at Bella. Sure, she was Frederick's, but she was always such a sweet, clingy kid.

Despite knowing the truth, I was ready to keep raising Bella as my own.

I thought about giving Claire one more chance. If she could cut Frederick off completely, maybe I could still see her as my wife, the only woman I'd love.

I knew it was a long shot, but part of me clung to that hope. Claire and I did share eight years of our lives, after all.

As I headed out, Claire sent another message: [I don't give a shit about you. Since you won't be at home, I'll say it now. I want a divorce. I've signed the papers and sent them to your office. I want Bella and 200,000 dollars a month for child support. Plus, half your assets.]

I felt this was too complex to settle over texts and decided to give Claire one last chance to explain herself, so I replied: [We need to talk when I get home.]

I turned off my phone, eager to get my engagement over with and head home.

Little did I know, my hesitation would cost my mother, Margaret, her life. I finally made a decision to get a divorce with Claire.