Five Years of Nothing

I don't know what changed Ricky from the gentle and understanding person he used to be into someone so selfish. Before I could respond, the ringing of his phone broke the tense silence between us.

I glanced quickly and saw Christine's name on the screen.

"Do not overthink again," Ricky warned me before stepping away to take the call, something he had never done in our five years together. He used to answer calls in front of me, no matter who it was.

"I'll give you time to think, and I'll pretend you never sent that resignation letter," Ricky said decisively after finishing his call. He then hurried off without saying goodbye, and I guessed he was heading to Christine's apartment.

What could I expect from someone who no longer wanted to listen? I didn't know why Ricky was so reluctant to let me go, but I also had the right to end everything.

Ricky didn't contact me for two days, and my resolve to leave him grew stronger. My intention to tell Ricky that I was going home to get married vanished completely. This afternoon, I sat alone at the airport, waiting for my flight.

[Let's break up.]

I also left the office group chat and blocked Ricky's number. I didn't care if I was seen as immature or running away from problems. I no longer wanted to fix anything with Ricky. From the start, he always blamed everything on me. I was never right and never good enough in his eyes.

Christine's presence only highlighted the distance between us. The rift that I had felt for the past year became more apparent when Ricky found someone new who interested him more.

The flight to my parents' house only took three hours. But I hadn't tried to go home once in the past seven years. Instead, I often attended Ricky's family events and ended up being part of the busy team there. Every Christmas, New Year, or family wedding, I was always there, celebrating from behind the scenes.

It wasn't that I didn't realize Ricky's family didn't appreciate me, but I was too blinded by love. Back then, Ricky introduced me as the all-capable girlfriend, an amazing partner who helped him grow his business to what it is now.

With such appreciation from Ricky, I thought I could even walk through fire. But somewhere along the way, that extraordinary loyalty lost its value in Ricky's eyes. Maybe because I was too independent and too obedient. Men get bored when they lose the challenge.

So when Christine came along as a new challenge, Ricky got very excited. But Ricky knew my worth, which is why he couldn't just throw me away.

My mom and dad hugged me together when we met at the airport. "You've lost a lot of weight. Are you eating well?" my mom asked, worried. There were many wrinkles on her face, which somehow made her look even more loving.

My usually quiet dad nodded in agreement. His face was also more lined, but his soft, loving eyes hadn't changed.

I couldn't hold back my tears, realizing how many years I had wasted just to satisfy my own ego. They never forced their will on me to get married quickly, but in my immaturity, I thought they were imposing their will on me.

This made me even more certain of my decision to get married and bring happiness to them. In the end, I realized that the ones who truly loved me were my parents, not Ricky. It took me seven years to understand this.

In the car, my mom kept hugging me and stroking my arm. Her touch was like a balm for my heart, wounded by Ricky's treatment.

"Are you happy? Are you sure about accepting Theo?" my mom asked softly. I nodded with my eyes closed.

"Really? Then why do you look unhappy? Honestly, you don't have to marry anyone if you don't want to. We just miss you and hope to see you more often," my mom added gently.

I shook my head, my eyes welling up again. "It's normal, I've never met Theo, so I don't know what to expect. But I want to be happy. And I trust that you have chosen the best person for me," I replied softly.

My mom looked hesitant but didn't ask any more questions. My dad drove us to my favorite oriental-themed restaurant, and we had a meal together there. The awkwardness slowly melted away as we chatted. My usually quiet dad, who was always enthusiastic, busied himself peeling shrimp for me, while my mom kept asking me lots of questions.

Coming home this time really had a positive impact on my mental health. Even so, I still often woke up in the middle of the night from dreams of Ricky scolding me and couldn't sleep until morning, feeling like I had wronged him.

At least during the day, I felt better knowing Ricky was a three-hour flight away from here. He would never find me because he never asked about my family.

Even so, my mom knows me well. Seven years apart didn't dull her motherly instincts.

"Let's go to the hospital. You eat a lot, but why do you still look pale and tired during the day? The dark circles under your eyes make you look like a panda!" my mom said one afternoon.

Feeling drowsy, I suddenly perked up. "I'm fine," I quickly refused. Unfortunately, my mom is very stubborn. We argued for a while until she suddenly stopped mid-conversation. It was scary, especially when she grabbed her phone and called someone.

"Susan, I need your help. Come over as soon as you're done with work," Mom said on the phone. She told me to get ready, and later that afternoon, when I was feeling sleepy again, she arrived with a woman in her 40s, surprising me. My head hurt from failing to sleep twice, and it hurt even more because the woman named Susan asked me a lot of questions.

At first, I thought she was a doctor, but I was wrong. Her questions gradually moved away from general health inquiries. It felt more like a session with a psychiatrist!

When I realized what was happening and who Susan really was, it was too late. My mom, who had been with me since the beginning of the session, started to cry while Susan sighed deeply.

"The preliminary diagnosis is that you have depression."