Faded Love

Only those who had been inside knew what it meant to wish for death.

During lunch, I buried my head in my plate of food. Not making a sound or putting food on others’ plates. I ate quickly as if I hadn't eaten in a month.

"Nina!"

"Yes, sir!"

Hearing someone call my name, I instinctively put down my cutlery and stood up, responding with "Yes, sir" even as I did. It wasn't just me who was startled. James and Madam Gates were too.

I glanced at their bewildered expressions, then looked down at my neatly arranged bowl and cutlery, unsure of what to do. I had forgotten this wasn't the rehab center. I didn't know why James suddenly called for me.

"You little rascal, you scared her." Madam Gates slapped James and then turned to me, saying, "Darling, sit down. Don't be so formal with me."

I obediently sat down, not touching the plate and cutlery in front of me.

"Grandma was just talking to you, didn't you hear?" said James, sounding quite displeased. I couldn't tell if he was upset because I hadn't heard Grandma or because she had slapped him.

"Sorry, Grandma. I was too hungry and wasn't paying attention." I offered a guilty look toward Madam Gates. My teacher said that apologies should be sincere.

Only I knew it wasn't just hunger.

I was scared of not eating fast enough and being punished if there was leftover food.

I vaguely remembered Grandma had asked me to eat more vegetables instead of just rice. I heard her but didn't react quickly enough, which was why James had to call me.

After the meal, I wasn't sure if it was the heat or what, but I felt a light sweat on my forehead. I returned to the old house left by my grandfather.

"Thank you for bringing me back," I said politely, giving James a slight bow as a sign of gratitude.

Madam Gates suggested I stay the night before leaving, but I declined. I didn't want too much contact with them and had James take me back.

"Are you sure you want to stay here?" James frowned.

I turned to look at the house behind me. It had been uninhabited for three years, overgrown with weeds.

I nodded at James.

I had nowhere else to go, no money, and the clothes I was wearing were from three years ago. The rehab center had uniform clothing, so this outfit was all that remained.

I bent down to pull up the weeds, disturbing the creatures hiding inside, which scurried out—cockroaches, mice, and a lazy snake lounging in the corner.

In the past, I would have jumped straight into James's arms. Now, I merely glanced at the animals and planned to find a stick to drive the snake away.

But James pulled me into the car.

"What's wrong?" I looked at him, puzzled, and just then noticed he hadn't left.

"Didn't you see the snake over there?" asked James, sounding a bit annoyed.

Oh, I forgot. James was also afraid of such creatures.

"I saw it. It's fine. I'll just use a stick to get it away. If you're scared, you can go back," I reassured him.

I opened the car door, ready to get out.

But James locked the door and drove away.

I sat in the passenger seat, terrified, and fastened my seatbelt.

"Where... where are you taking me?"

James didn't respond.

I didn't ask again.

James took me to his private residence.