After I Became Paralyzed, My Ex-husband Became My Caregiver

A strong taste of blood filled my mouth.

I suddenly vomited everything I had eaten.

Patrick quickly poured me some water.

But I kept vomiting more and more, tears streaming down my face.

I pushed Patrick's hand away and slowly said, "No."

In my current state, I didn't want to be a burden to anyone.

My grandmother helped me up, and as I got closer, I noticed how much thinner her hands had become and how much more of her white hair had fallen out.

Suddenly, a deep sadness washed over me.

Grandma had aged so much; she didn't even look like herself anymore.

At an age when she should be enjoying the company of her grandchildren, she was instead taking care of her sick family members.

This once happy and harmonious home was now shrouded in the shadow of death.

My aging grandmother, my sick mother, and I—we were all just waiting to die.

After Patrick left, Grandma asked me to stay with her for a while.

"I'm old. Every time we see each other might be the last. I can't leave your mother's side, and I can't go to the hospital to take care of you." Grandma's rough hands kept stroking my cheek. "I'm sorry, my dear..."

Grandma couldn't visit me in the hospital.

I didn't have the strength to come home on my own.

After this, Carl probably wouldn't bring me back again.

As I thought about it, the pain in my body started up again.

Seeing my discomfort, Grandma sang a lullaby to soothe me to sleep.

Her song, mingled with the curses from the next room, filled my mind.

"Sleep, sleep, my dear baby."

"Janet, why don't you just die!"

"Sleep, sleep, Mama loves you."

"I hate you, Janet, I hate you!"

The mixture of comfort and curses was like a slow, painful cut—a brief moment of sweetness followed by bone-deep pain.

……

As I was drifting off to sleep, I heard Grandma mention Carl.

"That boy was so good to you. If only he could stay with you, I could rest easy."

I closed my eyes as tears slipped out uncontrollably.

Carl had been so, so good to me.

So good that even on the brink of death, I couldn't forget him.