Erased: My Husband Stole My Memories

4: 4

4

When I woke again, I was in a hospital, and all I could see was endless white.

A nurse was changing my IV.

Seeing me awake, she smiled.

"You're awake, miss? Your blood sugar was low. You were unconscious when they brought you in."

"Don't worry, your husband went out to get you something to eat. He should be back soon."

I said nothing, just stared blankly at what her hands were doing.

Even after she finished with the IV and left the room, I kept my eyes fixed on her retreating back.

Then, all at once, something came back to me.

When I had Jerome, the birth hadn't gone smoothly. I'd labored for hours and still couldn't deliver.

In the end, on the doctor's advice, I'd switched to a C-section. Jerome was born by cesarean.

During my recovery I even joked with my mother.

I'd given birth once and gone through the pain of both a natural birth and a C-section.

I bolted upright, threw back the blanket, and yanked down the waist of my pants.

What I saw made my pupils shrink.

The spot on my lower belly, where the scar had always been, was completely bare.

That scar was from the C-section, and it still itched a little on rainy days.

But now my lower belly was smooth, without the faintest trace of any scar.

The strength drained out of me and I dropped back onto the bed.

Before I ended up in this hospital, I'd believed the whole world was lying to me.

But now, for the first time, I doubted myself.

My husband could lie to me. The preschool teacher could lie to me. My father and mother could lie to me.

But my own body? Could that really lie to me?

While I was still lost in a daze, Barret pushed open the door.

His hands were full of things.

He set them down on the nightstand one by one, talking as he went.

"You scared me half to death. How did you just faint like that? Thank goodness the doctor said it was only low blood sugar."

"These are the soup dumplings from that place on the west side, your favorite. And this, this is the wonton soup I got packed up special from the shop by our gate. You always want this when you're not feeling well."

"And this is the fish soup Mom made. It's really fresh. Do you want to try some?"

When I didn't answer, Barret showed no irritation at all.

"The doctor said you should eat something light for now, nothing that would upset your stomach."

"See if there's anything here you feel like eating. If not, just tell me what you want and I'll go buy it."

Only then did I slowly turn my head to look at him.

Three years dating, seven years married, a full ten years together. Barret and I had always been close.

He put me first in everything, my feelings before his own.

Even after everything that had happened today, when in everyone's eyes I was the one making trouble over nothing, there wasn't a word of blame from him, only worry filling his whole face.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything more, and only nodded.

"I'll have the wonton soup. It's been a while."

After I ate, the IV had just finished, and Barret got up to call the nurse to take out the needle.

But watching him walk away, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was still wrong.

After thinking it over, I called my oldest friend, Lavinia Butler.

"Lavinia, are you free? Want to come over to my place in a bit?"

My parents and Lavinia's parents were good friends, and we'd been neighbors since we were kids, practically raised together from diapers.

After I got married and had a child, Lavinia naturally became Jerome's godmother.

Lavinia and I were the kind of close where one of us could kill and the other would hand over the knife.

There wasn't a single person in this world I could trust one hundred percent.

But Lavinia, I knew for certain she would never lie to me.

Barret and I hadn't been home long when there was a knock at the door.

Before I could even get up and speak, Lavinia's voice came through the wood.

"Jocelyn! Get over here and open the door! The toys I brought for my godson weigh a ton!"

"Where's my godson? Is he asleep? Go wake him up."

"I've been away on business, and his godmother has missed him to death!"

It hit me like a lightning strike.

For a moment I froze right where I stood.