Eight Years Wasted on an Unopened Message

Through the bathroom door, I could hear the soft tap of his thumbs on the phone.

Faint, but somehow crystal clear.

Now and then a snatch of word sent through the channels leaked through.

I didn't have to guess. The person on the other end was Sabrina.

We'd fought about this once, actually.

Back then I asked him why he never opened the words I sent through the Family's channels, but answered every single one of Sabrina's, one after another.

He thought I was making a scene over nothing.

"I'm with you every single day. What could be so urgent it has to be put down in writing?"

"If it's an emergency, just call me. If it isn't, we can talk when I'm back at the safehouse, can't we?"

"Sabrina's different. We don't see each other every day, so of course it's normal to talk."

He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

The logic fit together without a single gap.

Fit together so tightly it stuffed every bit of my hurt and resentment right back down my throat.

So after that, I never brought it up again.

But standing here, listening to the alerts go off over and over inside the bathroom, I suddenly found it almost funny.

So it wasn't that he had no time to reply.

It wasn't that he didn't like talking.

The person he talked with just wasn't me.

I closed my eyes for a moment, turned, and went back to the bedroom.

By the time I came out again, Lorenzo was already sitting at the dining table, eating.

A single container sat on the table.

Just one.

I stood there, blank for a couple of seconds, then suddenly laughed.

"Why did you only order one?"

His fork paused mid-air. He looked up at me.

"Huh?"

"Did you want some?"

He said it so naturally, even with a touch of confusion.

"I figured you were watching your weight these days, for the alliance ceremony."

Then he dropped his eyes back to his phone.

From start to finish, he never once really looked at me.

If he'd only lifted his head.

He would have seen my eyes, red around the rims.

But he didn't.

My fingers slowly curled in.

"Lorenzo, let's talk."

I pulled out a chair and sat down.

But the moment the chair scraped against the floor, Lorenzo was already on his feet.

"No time."

"Sabrina and I are gaming."

With that, he picked up his water glass and headed straight for the study.

Leaving the container on the table.

Leaving the chair I'd pulled out.

Leaving me sitting there.

The instant the door shut, my chest clamped up, hard.

Like someone had pressed a plastic bag over my mouth and nose.

Even breathing was a struggle.

Before long, the sound of their voice chat drifted out of the study.

The door hadn't shut all the way.

Their conversation came through clearly.

"Lorenzo, are you interested in that new movie that just came out? I've been dying to see it."

There was a smile in Sabrina's voice.

The next second, Lorenzo spoke.

"I knew you'd like it."

"I already bought the tickets. I'll take you tomorrow."

Sabrina laughed out loud right away, the sound coming a half-second too fast, too bright.

"You really are the most thoughtful."

"I only heard a man mention it today, figured I'd surprise you."

A surprise.

Sitting in the front room of the safehouse, I went a little numb.

So Lorenzo wasn't incapable of planning a surprise.

It wasn't that his memory was bad.

It was just that all that patience, that thoughtfulness, that care had never once landed on me.

For Sabrina, he always remembered what she liked.

Always had time for her.

Always willing to take a passing remark to heart.

And for me, there was only ever one line:

"She's a friend, you're my promised bride. How could it be the same?"

The thought of it made me laugh.

Laugh until I nearly cried.

Lorenzo.

If being your bride is this exhausting.

Then I really would be better off as your friend.

The next second.

I drew back my foot and kicked the study door open.

"BANG—"

The crash made Lorenzo whip around.

Almost on reflex, he clapped a hand over his headset mic, frowning at me.

His eyes full of confusion.

"What's wrong?"

I stared at him and bit out every word.

"The dress fitting's tomorrow. Did you forget?"

My voice came out colder than I'd expected.

Lorenzo blinked.

Then a hint of difficulty crossed his face. He went very still, his thumb pressing slow against the heel of his palm.

"I already made plans with Sabrina to see a movie tomorrow."

"The tickets are bought."

He paused, then quickly produced a solution.

"How about you go try on the dress first, by yourself?"

"I wouldn't be much help there anyway. Or you could ask Gianna to come with you?"

A few short seconds.

The reason, the excuse, the alternative.

He'd worked it all out.

It was just that, from beginning to end, canceling the movie had never crossed his mind.

Going with his future bride to try on the dress for the alliance ceremony didn't matter.

Going to a movie with Sabrina mattered more.

I looked at him and slowly shook my head.

"No."

His expression shifted.

Through his headset, Sabrina kept urging him on.

The game had already started its countdown.

His brows drew tighter and tighter.

"Adriana."

"Am I not allowed to have plans of my own?"

"Once the families are bound I have to revolve around you all day, every day?"

That line nearly made me laugh out of sheer anger.

Revolve around me?

When had Lorenzo ever revolved around me?

No word from him while he handled the Family's business.

Buried in his game once the day was done.

Every last detail of arranging this alliance ceremony, dozens of them, I'd handled alone.

The venue, the guest list, the planner, the dress, the photography.

He hadn't even come with me once to choose the rings.

His schedule was always packed full.

It was just that whatever spilled over had never belonged to me.

I looked at him, and a bone-deep weariness washed over me.

There was no point in arguing.

No point in explaining either.

So I only asked him, quietly:

"Lorenzo."

"Is this alliance mine alone?"

By the time the words were out, all that was left in my voice was exhaustion.