Eight Lost Babies: My Husband's Deadly Secret

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Three days after the procedure, I was allowed to go home to rest.

Looking at the gifts laid out on the bed, for the first time I felt how cruel it all was.

Every time I miscarried, Derek would buy a baby item as a gift.

He would hold me so carefully.

"Charity, once we have our baby, all of these will be presents from his older brothers and sisters."

Back then, I cried and nodded, and said yes.

I tucked them away in the cabinet like treasures.

But this time, all I felt was that I was a joke.

And my husband was the one who had made me into one.

Early the next morning, an unwelcome visitor showed up: Vivienne.

Derek had barely opened the door when I heard a dog barking.

"Why did you bring a dog?"

Vivienne bent down, grinning, and set the dog inside.

"I was worried your wife was too heartbroken. They say dogs comfort the soul, so I bought her one."

Derek stepped aside.

"Come in and sit first."

The dog caught the smell of the food on the table and kept bounding toward it.

Terrified, I pulled my feet up onto the chair.

"Derek, get it away from me."

Before Derek could move, Vivienne's eyes went red.

"Do you not like dogs? Or is it me you don't like?"

"Derek and I really are just old classmates. Please don't misunderstand."

Derek, mid-step toward me, stopped, turned back, and pulled out a tissue to hand her.

"Don't cry. Charity doesn't dislike it, she's just a little scared."

Only then did Vivienne's tears turn to a smile.

"Don't be scared, he's very well-behaved."

But nobody took the dog away from the table.

I'd been bitten by a dog as a child, and the sight of one still terrified me.

The next time I called Derek's name, my voice was already breaking.

"Derek, get it away."

Only then did it register with him. He scooped up the dog and shut it in the bedroom.

He patted my back and soothed me in a low voice.

"There, it's shut away now. Don't be scared."

Then he turned to Vivienne.

"She's always been afraid of dogs. She'll be fine once she gets used to it."

I shook my head.

"I don't want it here. Make her take it away. Take it away."

But Derek leaned down and murmured in my ear.

"It's a gift, it wouldn't be nice to refuse. I'll give it away once she leaves."

Vivienne got up and walked to the bedroom.

"Since your wife is frightened, I'll take him with me after all."

I sat on the chair, trying to shake off the fright the dog had given me.

I didn't stop Vivienne from going into the bedroom.

A moment later her voice came from inside.

"Wow, this looks so good on you!"

Vivienne came out holding the dog, and what the dog was wearing was one of the baby outfits Derek had bought.

She held the puppy up high, showing it off to us.

"Well? Cute, right? It fits perfectly."

My face went cold in an instant.

"Take it off."

"What?"

"I said take that outfit off the dog."

Vivienne looked at Derek, all wounded innocence.

Derek opened his mouth, and it took him a long moment to get any sound out.

"Just let it go, Charity. I'll buy a new one."

"You know perfectly well those clothes were bought for the baby!"

"Once we have a baby, I'll buy him plenty more clothes. Do you really want the baby fighting a dog over one outfit?"

I stared at Derek, dazed. So even our baby couldn't measure up to a dog?

Thinking of those chat logs, I gave a bitter little laugh.

Right. My baby, the one who would never even be born, how could it ever compete with the woman he loved's dog.

But that was the little outfit meant for my baby. What right did she have to put it on a dog?

I stubbornly demanded that Vivienne take the clothes off, and, forgetting even my fear of the dog, I moved to strip them off myself.

But Derek held me back, pinning me so I couldn't get near.

Vivienne looked at me, then at Derek, and bolted out the door with the dog in her arms.

"Derek, don't fight, you two. I… I'll come again another day."

But the outfit on that dog was never taken off.