Drowning in the Ocean of Love

When I was finally able to force my heavy eyelids open, the first thing I saw was a white ceiling.

My body ached as if I had been run over by a truck. The pain was unbearable, especially in my abdomen.

Instinctively, I reached for it, only to discover that the bump that had once been there was now gone. I felt a hollow ache within, like I was missing a piece of myself.

"Darling, you're awake!" Gabriel, who had been lying by my side, abruptly lifted his head, his eyes bloodshot.

I turned away, refusing to look at the fake, tender expression of his.

"Our baby didn't make it," he said quietly, carrying a hint of sorrow in his eyes. "But thank God you're fine! I didn't lose you. Cheer up. We can try for another child once you recover!"

Bitterness rose in my throat as I wondered if my child was only meant to be medicine for Lucia. I shook my head, a dull ache spreading through every fiber of my being.

Gabriel tried to coax me as he always did, plastering a smile on his face. "You must be starving. Wait here. I'll go to the east side of the city and buy your favorite pudding."

I looked into those soft, smiling eyes and couldn't understand how he could hide his love for another woman.

As night began to fall, he still hadn't come back.

When the nurse came to change my dressings, her eyes were filled with pity. "Don't you have any family to take care of you?"

I took a deep breath and dragged my weak body up to the third floor.

Through the glass door, I watched as Gabriel spoon-fed Lucia pudding, his gaze gentle and full of warmth.

Lucia's complexion was pallid, yet her beauty still shone through.

When she noticed me, she gave me a taunting look before clutching Gabriel's arm and coyly asking him to help her put on her shoes.

I clenched my fists so hard that my nails dug deep into my skin, blood seeping through my fingers.

Gabriel sank to one knee, took her ankle, pressed a reverent kiss on the top of her foot, and let her step on his knee as he slipped her shoes on.

My nose prickled, and tears slid down my cheeks like a broken string of pearls. I couldn't stop them.

This was the chauvinist who once told me that a man should never get on his knees easily and that in this life, apart from proposing, he would never get on his knees for me.

Yet, here he was, looking like a worshipper at Lucia's feet. I, on the other hand, was reduced to a pitiful thief, coveting someone else's happiness.

Panic flashed across his face when he turned with Lucia in his arms. He hurriedly let go of her and rushed toward me. "I can explain, Darling! Raphael is too busy, so he asked me to look after Lucia."

"Where's my pudding?" I asked hoarsely.

He handed me a bowl of pudding that had already turned lukewarm and apologized. "Lucia ate it, but it's good. Have some, Darling. I'm sure you'll like it!"

Lucia strolled over, her face pale and her voice soft. "I didn't know the pudding was yours, Pheebs. I'm sorry."

Gabriel's eyes clouded with conflict and sorrow as he stared at Lucia's thin figure. I bit down hard on my tongue until the metallic tang of blood filled my mouth, forcing myself to let go.

"It's fine." I gave in, despite the fact that he had forgotten that whenever I ate lukewarm pudding, I ended up barfing my guts out.

As long as Lucia was around, Gabriel saw nothing else; she was always his top priority.

There was a time when his gaze had fallen on me, too.

Three years ago, when he had rescued me from the ocean, dripping wet, he got on one knee in front of me and pulled out a dazzling purple diamond ring. "Please give me the chance to love you for as long as I live, Pheebs."

The pink diamond bracelet on Lucia's wrist was the design that had just brought him acclaim.

I still remembered the joy I felt watching him on television, giving his acceptance speech. The host had asked Gabriel where his inspiration came from, and he beamed, "I wanted to give it to the woman I love most, because she is as beautiful as the stars!"

The audience marveled with envy. Even my best friend rang me up to tease me about having such a loving husband.

Yet, the woman he loved had never been me.