Died with My Daughter

Paul once told me that I helped him turn his life around. After he found hope, he wanted to share it with others. Among the people he helped, Beatrix was the most special.

When Beatrix was nineteen, she insisted on going alone to pick up my birthday cake and ended up surrounded by a gang of punks. Paul reminded me, “She’s doing this for you; one day, you should protect her a little.” My heart ached for Beatrix—so vulnerable, so alone. Ignoring an odd feeling I couldn’t quite place, I agreed.

At twenty-two, Beatrix went alone to pick up my wedding ring, only to be attacked on her way back, casting a shadow over our wedding day. Paul told me, “She’s pregnant now and wants to keep the child. She met us because of you. You should take care of her.” I sympathized with her and didn’t question his words. I simply did my best to support her.

When I was twenty-three, after a difficult labor, I finally delivered Adeline. When I woke up, the first face I saw was Beatrix’s, looking pale and worn. Paul explained, “Beatrix passed out from donating blood to save you. We owe her our lives now.”

I’d just narrowly escaped death, yet a chill ran through me as if I were bound by something unseen. After Paul left, Beatrix’s weak smile turned sharp. “Alice, from today onward, you owe me a life. Remember that debt.”

I lost the right to celebrate my own wedding anniversary. “It’s too painful for Beatrix,” Paul said. “It’s cruel to celebrate when she has suffered so much for us.”

And Adeline has never had a birthday celebration since she was born. “Her birth almost cost me you and nearly killed Beatrix,” he’d say. “It’s better not to make a fuss over birthdays.”

Beatrix. Her name hung over me like a shadow, a nightmare I couldn’t shake.

I still didn’t understand how doing one good deed led to a lifetime of debts to Beatrix. I didn't know how my life became burdened by obligations I never asked for.

I made Adeline’s fifth birthday cake with my own hands. She no longer asked why Daddy wasn’t there. She just kissed me with a bright, joyful smile.

“What’s your birthday wish, Sweetie?” I asked, curious.

I thought she’d wish for health, to recover quickly, so she could go to school and play like other children.

"Mom, I wish you to be healthy and happy from now on," Adeline said without hesitation.

I was stunned. "Why do you wish for that?"

She looked at me, her little hand gently brushing my cheek. “Mommy, you've lost so much weight since I got sick,” she said softly, warm and fuzzy.

I kissed the palm of her hand, feeling a surge of love. "I want to get better soon so I can stay with Mommy all the time."

Adeline laughed. "Since I didn’t get a birthday last year, let’s make two wishes! I wish for Mommy to be healthy and happy and for Adeline to get well soon."

I pushed the cake in front of her. "Blow out the candles, and your wishes will definitely come true."

Suddenly, the door to the hospital room flew open. Paul stood there, his voice hard and cold as he grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room. The cake toppled over, but he couldn’t care less.

"Beatrix fainted on her way here after rushing to make a cake for Adeline. Go take care of Harith," he ordered.

I shook his hand off, unable to hold back anymore. "Did I force her to do that? Did I make her come here? She should be responsible for her own actions!"

"Today is Adeline's birthday! No one asked for her hypocritical cake. If she had died in a car accident on the way here, would you have blamed me and asked me to pay her back with my life?”

Paul’s expression turned icy. “Alice, how did you become so cold-blooded? Do you regret marrying me?”

I laughed bitterly, a cruel idea flashing through my mind. "Then let’s end this. We’ll get a divorce, you can marry Beatrix, and we can call it even for her so-called life-saving debt. Just beg her to let me go from now on, okay?"

He grabbed my chin roughly, his voice like ice. “Take it back. Don’t even think about divorce.”

His grip tightened, as if reminding me of something I could not escape. "Today is Adeline's birthday, but whether or not she lives to see another one depends on what you do."

I stared at him, my shoulders gradually sagging as I surrendered to the numbness. "Fine. I’ll go."