Beauty and The Beta

Asher…

I pace the corridor of the packhouse for yet another night. Sleepless nights are becoming the most repetitive thing for me now. Almost tiresome… or they would be if I could actually fucking sleep! Nightmares plaguing my dreams were the thing stopping my sleep… making me fear sleep… visions of that night… reoccurring time and time again… the rogues invading our pack lands… us losing control… and them hurting my precious Isla. My beautiful Isla.

Fate had barely brought us together before snatching us apart… life could be cruel… and it made me relive that night, time and time again through my dreams… the pain as her life ebbed away… the inability to be able to save her… the pain in her eyes… the fear… it made me hate life… hate fate. And now, now it makes me fear sleep. Which is what found me pacing these godforsaken corridors every night…

“Alright Beta!” Marc, one of our young warriors, greeted me enthusiastically, telling me he had likely been out spending time with friends. Especially returning to his room at this early hour of the morning.

“Hey Marc.” I smiled, raising my eyebrows questioningly at him as he stumbled toward the stairs. He was barely able to walk in a straight line.

“I not been dinking, honest boss.” He mutters with a chuckle. These guys make me smile. How could they not? Barely past shifting age, and newly trained warriors. They clearly decided to drink themselves to the point of stupor. Which, considering we are werewolves and alcohol has little to no effect on us in small doses, they had to have been drinking excessive amounts! Likely coming up with new and different drinking challenges to see who could drink the most, that was what they so often did.

But, I can’t say I had not done the same when I first shifted and on many a younger night with friends. It was all part of growing up for many, wasn’t it? Especially for our warriors, I knew that, having helped many a drunken warrior home in the past. And I am sure they had had a good night and many good memories to look back on… if they could actually remember any of them, of course!

“I never said a word Marc.” I gave him a nod as he fell up the stairs.

I continued my pacing of the corridor only to hear a few more drunken voices approaching, I assume likely Marc’s drunk friends. And, I, not in the right frame of mind to have to deal with anyone else tonight, ducked into the short corridor off the main hallway of the packhouse. Leading to my office. I could sit in here until they passed and then make my way back to my room, and hopefully, I could attempt to gain at least a few hours’ sleep tonight, so I would be at least partially functionable tomorrow…

“What are you doing down here?!” a voice made me jump awake from my sleep, making me stir, and realize just how uncomfortable I was. My whole body ached. The crick in my neck felt like it had been locked in a vice... Though, as I moved, it was only then I realized I had fallen asleep sitting at my office desk. I had been asleep collapsed over my office desk since the early hours of the morning when I came in here to hide from the drunken warriors…

I sleepily raised my eyes upward, only to see my best friend, and the pack Alpha, standing next to my desk looking more than a little concerned, looking down over me. “Asher?” he questioned. “Why are you sleeping down here? This has to be the third or fourth time in a matter of weeks. And don't get me started on all the time prior to that.”

I sighed. Just what I need, him on my case. The third degree once again. Am I ok? Do I need some help? Support? That is likely what Caleb was about to start with… like always. He couldn’t help it. Though, I didn’t want to sound ungrateful. He was my closest friend after all, and he did just care. But, sometimes, some people just needed their space! It wasn’t like he could help… he couldn’t stop my suffering… this has been going on too long now…

“Was struggling to sleep, so I came down to work. I am guessing I must have crashed.” I told him. Not quite the truth, but it would do…

Caleb didn’t need to know that my sleep was so badly disturbed that I struggled to sleep every night. That my nights were so messed up I hadn’t slept properly since Isla had left…

“Is everything okay, Asher?” Caleb asked, and I could hear the concern dripping from his voice, like it so often does of late. “Eden said she has been worrying about you… that you just haven’t seemed yourself since the rogue attacks began. She said you seem so distant. So withdrawn.”

I shook my head with a disgusted roll of my eyes. So, they had been discussing me? Do they think that is acceptable? Yes, Eden may be his mate, and the Luna of the pack, as well as my friend, but I do not need to be some sort of sympathy case that needs to be sat and discussed between them over their evening meal! I am fine! I am the pack Beta for fuck’s sake. I focused my eyes upon my friend, a dark glare hopefully saying all I needed to.

“Caleb, you may be a friend, but please, for the love of god, fuck off. I am fine. Tired, yes. Stressed, yes. We have been dealing with rogue attacks regularly until lately. We need to work on improving the pack, which is what we are working on doing. It doesn’t come easily. It takes time. It takes energy and effort. So yeah, I am stressed and tired. Is that not my fucking job?” I snap, knowing I am already overstepping the mark talking to my Alpha in that way. He knew I had lost my mate because of these rogue attacks too, so you would think he would have shown at least a little understanding… but I wanted to continue going… needed to keep functioning or else I had nothing…

Caleb looks to me with a shake of his head. “Fine. Go get showered. You look like a fucking state. We have a meeting in half an hour.”