Be My Own Light

During my week in the hospital, Julian never came to visit.

Maybe he didn't even realize I was still pregnant. I wasn’t surprised; that was just how he was. I used to make excuses for him all the time, but not anymore.

After a week of rest, my body had recovered enough for me to be discharged. During this time, I scrolled through Anne’s social media. Every single post was about Julian.

In the photos, Anne looked like a little princess surrounded by admirers. She was always at the center, filling her table with nutritious meals and countless gifts. Meanwhile, I was alone in the hospital with nothing.

Even the pearl necklace Julian promised to buy me now shone around Anne's neck.

It was odd seeing these things again and feeling absolutely nothing.

When I got home, it was just as I'd left it. Julian had been at the hospital with Anne. He hadn't come home and probably didn't even know I had been hospitalized.

I quickly packed my things, tossing the photo from my nightstand and burning the love letters he'd written me. I took off my wedding ring and left it on the coffee table.

When I was done, I looked around the empty house. It felt like it did when we first moved in—cold and lifeless.

I lowered my gaze to the divorce papers, picked up a pen and signed my name on the back. He showed up alone before I could call Julian to come home and sign the papers. When he walked in, I was talking to a coworker about work.

My coworker asked me about my flight and I replied, "It' tomorrow afternoon."

I hung up as soon as I saw him walk through the door.

He frowned. "What's happening tomorrow afternoon? A prenatal checkup?"

I put away my phone and replied flatly, "Just work stuff. Not a checkup."

Only then did I notice the food container in his hand. He met my gaze and handed it over.

"I'm sorry, Scarlett. Anne's been in the hospital these past few days and I couldn't leave her side. I bought you a fish soup to help you recover."

I didn't take it because the faint smell of fish made me nauseous. We had been married for years and he still doesn't know I couldn't eat fish. How ironic, but I didn't even have the energy to argue.

"Oh, right. This is Anne's silk dress. It can't go in the washing machine. Can you hand wash it tonight?"

I suddenly had doubts as I listened to these words and looked at the person before me. I didn't know if he had changed or if I had always married someone like this.

I said through my gritted teeth. "Just leave it there."

"I need to grab some clothes to change into. Then I'll head back," he said, quickly heading into the bedroom to pack.

I took that opportunity to walk over to him with the divorce papers. "Julian, our mortgage is all paid up. Just need your signature here."

He didn't suspect a thing and signed his name without hesitation. I watched him leave with his bag of clothes. Then, I booked a flight two hours later.

I slipped off my wedding ring and laid the divorce papers and the abortion slip on the coffee table. Those were the final things I wanted Julian to see. It was over between us.