After the Bloom,No Looking Back

"Do you think Vera came back to the country for Ferdinand? Think they'll rekindle things?"

I didn't want to believe it, but the evidence was right in front of me.

A journalism awards ceremony. Ferdinand and Vera Summers standing shoulder to shoulder, a trophy in his hand, her gaze fixed on him like he was the only person in the room.

That same trophy still sat on Ferdinand's desk.

Once, while cleaning, I'd moved it a few inches to the left. He'd erupted like I'd committed a crime.

I'd assumed he was protective of the achievement.

Now I understood. It was the person he'd shared it with.

After scrolling through every photo of the two of them, my chest felt packed with something heavy and damp, like wet cotton lodged behind my ribs.

That was a life I'd never been part of.

Ferdinand, bright-eyed and burning with ambition, young and unguarded.

Nothing like the distant, closed-off man I'd married.

A cramp twisted through my stomach. The baby must have sensed my sadness.

I closed my eyes. Everyone had a past. I couldn't sentence my marriage to death over old photographs.

Besides, I was carrying his child.

If he could look me in the eye and deny that he still had feelings for Vera, I'd give him one more chance.

I pulled myself together, left the office building, and walked another fifteen minutes before I finally spotted Ferdinand's car tucked in the shadows.

He always said he was afraid someone might see us, so he parked far away on purpose.

Rain or shine, nothing made him bend that rule.

I opened the door and slid into the passenger seat. He held out a jewelry box.

"Happy birthday."

Inside was the pink diamond I'd kept in my shopping cart for months.

But the excitement I should have felt never came.

All I heard was the hurt in my own voice.

"Ferdinand, we had a deal. Why did you go back on it?"

Ferdinand stared at the neon lights ahead and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Jade, we're legally married. What difference does it make whether it's public or not?"

"You know the station's been considering letting me anchor a new program. I can't afford any complications right now."

Five years together, and he always asked me to wait.

Wait for him to get hired full-time. Wait for his promotion. Wait for his raise. Wait until he was ready.

I had no idea when this endless waiting would ever have an end.

"Is the real reason you won't go public because of Vera?"

His hands tightened on the steering wheel. His gaze slid past mine.

"She's my ex-girlfriend, but that's over. I married you. I signed the papers."

"Stop overthinking this. I would never do anything to betray you."

Maybe guilt got the better of him, because at the next red light, he made an offer I'd never heard before.

"The station's annual gala is next Saturday. Come with me."

He had never once brought me into his social circle.

"As what?"

He let out a tired sigh.

"If anyone asks, just say you're a friend."

The disappointment sank through me like a stone. I closed my eyes and couldn't bring myself to say another word.

Maybe because I so rarely lost my temper in five years, Ferdinand spent the next few days bending over backward.

The polished, camera-ready anchorman came home every evening and buried himself in the kitchen, experimenting with dishes I loved.

He even bought a bouquet of lilies, my favorite, despite being so allergic to the pollen he couldn't stop sneezing.

His clumsy attempts at making amends would have melted me before.

Now they just felt hollow. Pointless.

Saturday. The Channel 5 annual gala.

I walked in on Ferdinand's arm.

He stopped mid-step. His eyes locked onto a woman across the room, and his arm slipped out of my hand before he even seemed to realize he'd done it.

I followed his gaze and saw the woman I'd only known from photographs.

Vera Summers. A tailored pearl-white skirt suit, her short hair swept back without a strand out of place.

She spotted us and smiled, walking over like she belonged there more than I ever would.

"Ferdinand, come on. Let me introduce you to a few of the executives."