After Seven Years, I Finally Chose Myself

A tear struck the phone screen and bloomed into a small wet smear.

Maybe it took me being the one to call it off for him to finally face what he wanted.

The truth was, his love had never belonged to me.

I pressed the feeling back down, switched off the phone, and went on handing over my work to the new teaching assistant as if nothing had happened.

But when Winston finished his lecture, he walked straight into the office with his arm draped around Michelle's shoulders.

A stack of crisp new engagement invitations sat in his hand, and he was passing them out, one by one, to every teacher in the room.

Winston and I had kept our relationship secret on campus. We always kept a careful distance, pretending not to know each other in public.

Now that we were over, there was even less reason for me to step forward and invite the snub.

The next second, Winston held an invitation out in front of me.

A mild smile curved his lips, his tone polite and distant. "Teaching Assistant Winfield, you'll come to our engagement party, won't you?"

I took it without a word. Their party fell on the day after I left the country, so of course I couldn't attend.

I didn't explain, didn't say anything. I only gave a small nod.

My silence darkened his expression in an instant.

The office buzzed with congratulations, warm and festive.

Even the new assistant beside me sighed over how perfectly matched Winston and Michelle were.

And it was true. Winston was handsome, Michelle was beautiful.

One had become the youngest specially-appointed professor on campus just two years out of school; the other was a rising star making her name in the art world while still young.

Anyone would have called it a match made in heaven, talent and beauty meeting their equal.

Watching the office light up with celebration, I couldn't help but slip outside for air.

I had already made up my mind to let him go. Yet looking at that engagement photo, my heart still throbbed with a pain I couldn't hold back.

Barely two minutes passed before Winston was standing in front of me. "Can't stand to watch? Jealous?"

I lifted my head. On his face was that familiar look of a man certain he had everything under control.

In the past, he'd abandoned me eighty-seven times, and every single time afterward he had coaxed me back.

Sending me the narcissus I loved best, buying the necklace I'd eyed for ages, taking me to a concert I'd been dying to see.

He knew my soft spots too well, certain I couldn't bear to lose this relationship. So this time, he wanted to run the same play.

Announce the engagement on purpose, sting me into jealousy, wait for me to cave, then have me come crawling back to his side.

I made it clear to him again. "Winston, you're overthinking this. We're already done."

His face soured at once. "Ethel, stop it. Everyone knows you can't live without me."

"I have plenty of choices better than you. But you? Who else do you think would put up with you, spoil you, give you a way to save face the way I do?"

"Do you really think you'll find anyone better than me?"

So in his heart, I would always be the unreasonable, never-satisfied girlfriend who could only function clinging to him.

He reached out and took my hand on his own. "Ethel, stop being so childish."

"Just lower your head and admit you were wrong, and never bring up the breakup again. Then I'll forgive you and call off the engagement with Michelle."

"Next month we hold our wedding right on schedule, and I'll never walk out on you halfway again. All right?"

No.

I had never done anything wrong. The one who should apologize, who should bow their head, was not me.

The day of that engagement party, the moment he turned his back and abandoned me without hesitation, the wedding between us had already ceased to exist.

If he insisted on getting engaged to Michelle, I wouldn't stand in the way.

A love between three people. I was willing to step out.

My handover at the school was completely wrapped up. All that remained was to end things with Winston for good.