After My 99th Suicide, I Forgot My Alpha

As he spoke, the pack members in the sanctuary finally snapped out of their shock.

"See? I knew it. She's just putting on a show. There's no way that lunatic would actually reject the Alpha."

"Of course not. Her wolf is practically useless. She can't survive without the Alpha's mark."

"Look at her. She's about to have another one of her episodes..."

Every word was laced with malice, every wolf waiting for me to make a fool of myself. Countless needles of scorn pricked at me. Just like all the times before, not a single wolf believed me. My dormant wolf struggled in agony, wanting to fight back, but it was powerless.

I clenched my fists. Beneath my torn sleeve, the old scars on my wrist gleamed silver in the moonlight. I opened my mouth, wanting to prove this wasn't a game, that this time, I was determined to reject him for good.

But my father's Beta authority exploded like a thunderclap, forcing every lower-ranking wolf in the sanctuary to their knees.

"Guards, throw her in the silver cells! Let the silver cleanse the rot from her very soul!"

The silver cells—a hell reserved for traitors. He didn't care one bit about his own daughter's dignity, or even her life.

"I didn't push her..." My voice trembled as I repeated the words, but no one was listening.

Two guards rushed forward and grabbed my arms. I instinctively tried to back away, but a rough hand seized the back of my neck.

"No... let go..."

I thrashed, my nails digging bloody gouges into a guard's arm, but my desperate struggle was cut short as a silver-laced baton slammed into the back of my head. Silver poison flooded my nervous system, and the searing pain blurred my vision.

In the last moment before darkness took me, I saw Zander approach.

He waved the guards away. For one insane second, a spark of hope flared—he was going to help me. But then he held out his hand, not to me, but to the guard. "Give me the key," his voice was ice. "I'll lock her in there myself."

That tiny, foolish spark of hope was instantly extinguished. It was laughable that even now, I could still hold on to such a fantasy.

I should have known long ago that to him, my pain was nothing more than an irrelevant, tiresome show.

When I woke up, a hellish agony consumed me. I was lying on a cold stone slab.

The walls around me were covered in ancient silver runes that slowly leeched into my body. Every breath was like swallowing shattered glass.

Silver dust floated in the air, seeping into my lungs. My wolf howled in despair, but I couldn't make a sound. My skin began to blister, and the blood in my veins grew thick and sluggish, as if it were freezing solid.

I can't... die here...

I gritted my teeth, using my last ounce of strength to drag my body toward the heavy silver door. My fingers were charred black, my nails peeling away from the raw flesh beneath. A trail of blood and pus marked my agonizing path.

But I kept knocking.

Once. Then again.

"Help... me..."

My voice was a hoarse rasp, like the death rattle of a wild animal.

But outside the door, there was only silence.

After what felt like an eternity, I heard a familiar voice.

"Sister, are you all right?"

"How pitiful."

It was Vivian's triumphant voice.

"I brought you some tea," she said, crouching down in front of me. "With honey. It used to be your favorite."

"I've lost my memory. I don't remember what I like."

"That's right," she smiled. "You've forgotten everything. Isn't that wonderful?" Her voice was as sweet as ever, but it sent a shiver down my spine. "Sister, do you know what's happening outside? Everyone is celebrating my nomination as the new Luna candidate."

I bit my lip, the taste of blood flooding my mouth.

Her tone suddenly turned vicious.

"Do you know what today is?" she asked, setting the teacup on the floor. "Three years ago today, you were rescued. It's a shame, really. No one else seems to remember that... unfortunate day you were returned to us."

I watched her, still silent.

"Do you know how happy I was when you were kidnapped?" Her eyes shone with a manic light. "I'll let you in on a little secret. It's a pity, really. You missed all the fun I had planned for you with the Blood Fangs."

"But you just had to come back."

She stood up, looking down at me. "But this is better, I suppose. Now, in everyone's eyes, you're just a lunatic."

She hadn't planned on letting me come back... She had arranged the fun...

So even that, all of it, was tied to Vivian.

My mind roared with a sudden, explosive pain. I tried to stand, but my legs were weak. I couldn't make a sound.

"What good is a bloodline? What good is status? Don't you see? The purification rite, the blood you gave me—it's all mine now. Your precious Moon Goddess blood has been transferred to me, and you're nothing but an empty vessel, a husk. In the end, I still get to climb to the throne over your corpse, don't I?"

"Don't worry," she purred. "Soon, my mission here will be complete."

I wanted to grab her arm, to demand an answer for everything, but just then, her communicator chimed. She deliberately put it on speaker so I could hear every word.

"Vivian? How are you feeling?" It was Zander's voice.

"Zander..." Vivian's voice instantly became frail and helpless. "It hurts so much... the silver poison is still in my system..."

"Wait for me. I'm coming back right now."

The connection cut out, and the silver cell was plunged back into silence.

I lay limp on the floor, the light of the silver runes illuminating my paper-white face. Fragments of sealed memories began to flash through my mind.

I saw myself being dragged into the dark dungeons of the Blood Fang Pack, their claws leaving scars on my body that would never heal.

I saw them chain my limbs with silver, forcing me to kneel like the most wretched slave.

I saw them brand my back with a mark of humiliation, a scar that still ached to this day. Years of inhuman torture, forced to crawl before them, to lick their boots, to endure humiliation after humiliation.

And when I finally fought my way back to my pack, the look in Zander's eyes wasn't sympathy. It was disgust. He was repulsed by my defiled body, by my shattered wolf, by the neurotic fear that had become a part of me.

I saw him hold a grand ceremony for Vivian's wolf awakening, personally anointing her with the Moon Goddess's blessing.

I saw him dance with her under the full moon, as if she were his true fated mate.

I saw him gently stroke her cheek, the smile in his eyes as warm as a spring thaw.

And me? I could only hide in the shadows, watching as everything that should have been mine was stolen, one by one, by the very person who had orchestrated my downfall.

The silver poison ate at my bloodline, killing my wolf piece by agonizing piece. But a strange thing happened. As my wolf died, so did the crushing weight of my emotions.

The pain, the love, the despair—it all began to cool. All of it was being purified into ash by the silver poison.

I held up my hand and watched as a faint green flame flickered at my fingertips. It was the sign of a wolf's essence burning away completely.

"Good," I let out a soft laugh, the sound echoing in the empty cell. "Burn. Burn it all away."

"And take this pathetic love with you."