After He Called Me Shameless

The sting spread across my cheek, and only then did I fully understand what had just happened.

"Noah… I didn't hit her!"

I tried to defend myself.

But Noah's eyes were filled with disappointment.

"Are you saying Lola hit herself? Apologize! If you apologize, this will still be your home."

My whole body went numb. I pressed my lips together stubbornly, refusing to speak.

Noah's gaze turned to ice as he stared me down.

I looked at the face that had once made my heart race so many times—and suddenly, I just felt tired.

All the feelings that had made me want to spend my life with him were gone. Now, all I wanted was to leave.

So I turned to Lola. "Lola… I'm sorry."

Noah's eyes widened in surprise.

I'd never backed down for anyone before. This was a first.

Lola sniffled softly, tugging on Noah's shirt. "Noah, I don't want to see her anymore. Let's just go home."

Noah snapped out of it and quickly took her hand, turning to leave.

I stood frozen, watching them walk back into what had once been my home.

Noah kissed Lola gently.

Lola wrapped her arms around his waist and began undoing the buttons of his shirt. Whatever had been simmering between them was now boiling over.

Then, the door shut firmly.

I knew exactly what was happening inside.

I'd been there myself, more times than I could count.

Gripping the handle of my suitcase, I turned and walked away without looking back.

…

Back at my own house, I knelt before my father's urn to confess.

Every time I'd been with Noah, I'd spent half the night kneeling here afterward.

This time would be the last.

After midnight, I shakily got to my feet and stumbled back to my room.

My phone on the desk showed several unread messages—all from Noah.

I opened the chat.

A photo loaded.

On a woman's shoulder blade was a small, bright red mole.

[Elena, he said his favorite part is this mole on my back. When we're in bed, his kisses always linger here.]

[You've been around him so long. You must know what that's like, right?]

[From beginning to end, you were only ever a stand-in for me.]

Instinctively, I looked over my own shoulder.

I couldn't see it clearly, so I walked into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror, undressing.

In the exact same spot as in the photo, I had a red mole, too.

Around it were clusters of faint kiss marks.

Every time we were together, Noah had lingered there.

It turned out that spot reminded him of his first love.

Every bit of tenderness I'd believed in had been an illusion.

The truth struck me like a bolt of lightning.

I let out a hollow laugh and went straight to the hospital that night to have the mole removed.

Exhausted, I collapsed into bed as soon as I got home.

In a fitful sleep, Noah's face kept appearing and fading away. All that remained was his voice, scolding me, calling me shameless.

"Elena… you were having a nightmare."

I opened my eyes to find my mother watching me with concern.

I opened my mouth to speak, and a wave of hurt and grief tightened in my chest.

She smoothed my hair. "It's okay to cry. I know you've been through a lot, Elena."

I shook my head, burying my face against her. "I'm fine."

Seeing I seemed steady, she spoke carefully.

"Your fiancé is here. He came to set the wedding date. How would you feel about next month?"

I nodded.

I picked up my phone and opened Noah's chat.

Me: [Noah… my wedding is next month.]