After Five Lives Of Trying I Finally Let Go

How could I just accept that?

Throughout our marriage, I had been completely submissive. I never fought back, never played games, never demanded more.

I played the part of the perfect, uncomplaining wife.

How could I admit defeat without a single fight?

Perhaps if I went back, if I were a little more proactive and a little less meek, I could win his heart.

It was on that day that a magical voice appeared in my mind, offering me five chances at rebirth.

I used three of them to return to different points in our marriage, desperate to win Grayson's attention and love.

The first time, I was reborn in my early pregnancy. I wrote a letter begging Grayson to skip an out-of-town audition and come home to be with me.

He wrote back that Claire had just landed a huge role and he had to throw a party for her, so he couldn't make it.

As I retched in the bathroom, I could hear the neighbors whispering, calling me the poor woman who couldn't keep her husband home.

The second time, I was reborn on the day Claire received a theater award nomination. I rushed to the celebration and took care of him all night after he got blackout drunk.

But every drunken word he slurred was for her: "Claire, if we're both still single when we're old and gray, I want to build a home with you."

The third time, I was reborn on the day Claire had a breakup and called Grayson to comfort her. I lost control and had a massive fight with him.

Grayson didn't even spare me a glance. He shoved me to the floor and rushed out the door to be with the woman he loved.

The fourth time, I was on my deathbed, my breath shallow.

And my husband, his hair now gray, was still as handsome as ever.

He held Claire by the waist, slow-dancing right in front of my bed, a tenderness in his eyes I had never seen him show anyone, least of all me.

My own daughter, Lily, sat nearby, holding up her phone to film them.

"Dad, Claire, don't be shy! That last pose would be perfect for a kiss!"

I had spent my life by his side, but I’d never once occupied a place in his heart.

Even my own daughter didn't acknowledge my existence.

Even on my deathbed, I was just an obstacle in their love story, a spectator to their happiness, a responsibility Grayson could never shake.

"For my last chance, can you send me back to before I met Grayson?"

"No. The earliest you can return is the day before you and he went to register your marriage at City Hall."

Through the painful lessons of four lifetimes, I finally understood. His "responsibility" was just a performance to maintain his perfect public image, and my sacrifices only served to free him to chase his muse without a single worry.

This life, I was done playing.

"Then send me back to the day before the wedding."

"I'll end it all right there."