After Eight Forced Miscarriages, I Vanished Forever

Every one of the first eight pregnancies, Cecil Delgado beat me until I hemorrhaged. Every time, it was the manic episodes.

Afterward, he'd kneel in my blood, slapping himself across the face, driving a knife into his own thigh, begging me to forgive him.

I pitied him. I buried the grief of losing child after child and stayed to help him through treatment.

Then came the ninth pregnancy. Cecil didn't go mad.

He peeled an orange, lit a cigarette, and spoke like he was discussing the weather.

"Eight rounds of faking it. I'd say that's enough."

He watched my face go rigid, and smiled.

"The truth is, there was never anything wrong with me."

"Ruby Mercer has leukemia. She needed embryonic stem-cell matches—nothing more."

Vivian Abbott sat nearby flipping through medical files, not even looking up.

"The stem cells extracted from eight dead fetuses were just enough for eight courses of treatment. Ruby finished her last one yesterday. Fully recovered."

Cecil stroked my hair, his voice soft.

"So carry this one to term. Ruby could use a little toy to play with."

I swallowed the taste of blood in my throat. I didn't ask why.

I closed my eyes and opened the countdown in my mind.

Redemption mission failed. Forced termination commencing.

——

The countdown blazed behind my eyes: 72:00:00, digits hammering.

I dug my nails into my palms hard enough to break skin, forced every sound back down my throat, and threw the thin blanket off my body.

Cecil crushed the half-smoked cigarette into the nightstand.

His knuckles cracked as his fist tightened.

He crossed the room in two strides and seized me by the collar.

"What are you throwing a tantrum for? Ruby just recovered from a serious illness. She needs a toy to keep her company. Being allowed to carry one for her is your good fortune. Don't mistake kindness for weakness."

I grabbed the pill bottle beside my pillow and hurled it at the wall.

Glass shattered across the floor. Pills scattered everywhere.

"If you needed stem cells, why not just say so? Why fake episodes and beat me until I bled out? Eight times! What am I to you?"

Vivian stepped forward, brushed the shards off the bedsheet, and folded her arms with a cold snort.

"Tell you? Tell some penniless wretch like you, so you could use that belly to squeeze millions out of us? Beating it out of you during an 'episode' didn't cost a cent. Much simpler."

Fingers locked around my neck.

Cecil lifted me until my upper body dangled in the air.

I couldn't breathe. My vision went black at the edges.

"Your elders are speaking—who told you to open your mouth? Ruby's life is worth a hundred of yours. You're a breeding tool. Did you actually start thinking you were a real Delgado wife?"

I clawed at the back of his hand, legs kicking uselessly in the air.

Broken syllables scraped out of my throat.

"Your whole family are bloodsucking animals!"

The door swung open.

Ruby walked in wearing a hospital gown, cradling a bouquet of lilies.

Her eyes were faintly red, tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Cecil, please—don't hit her anymore. It's all my fault, my body being so weak. She lost eight babies because of me. She has every right to hate me."

Cecil's arm snapped forward.

I hit the cold tile floor.

A vicious cramping pain tore through my abdomen.

I curled into myself, arms wrapped around my stomach.

From the floor I watched the three of them standing together, warm and close, and swallowed the mouthful of blood rising in my throat.

Cecil draped his arm around Ruby's shoulders and drew a handkerchief from his pocket, dabbing the tears from the corners of her eyes.

His voice went gentle.

"Don't cry, Ruby. None of this is your fault. Her life's worth nothing—she couldn't even hold onto a pregnancy. This one, I'll make sure she carries it safe and sound. It'll be yours to play with."

Vivian chimed in on cue, patting Ruby's hand in hers.

"Exactly. Our Ruby is so kindhearted, coming all the way here to see her. And she doesn't know what's good for her. Once the baby's born, we take it straight away. She won't lay a finger on it."